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Find A Grave Complaints 82

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S
10:15 am EDT

Find A Grave memorials

There is a person named SILE, going through all the memorials on find a grave. THE person seems to think, that, in uploading all the various cemeteries online to find a grave..thats all that has to be done. HOWEVER, in doing that, you can submit the dead person's name, and it will still come up no one exists buried there UNTIL the cemetery updates their website, files, pages, records including the dead person's name. THE Obits I have had in hand, stating where folks are buried..yet, no matter what or when I reinvestigate, that persons name still comes up as not buried at such and such cemetery. UNTIL the cemetery records/files etc are updated, completely, properly..these folks will not exist..even though the cemetery is now online. I thought, creating a memorial, with the person's obits listed on it..would be helpful for folks to at least locate their loved ones, and take it from there. BUT, this person SILE on find a grave, seems to be harassing me today..on every stinking memorial I have created to the point..I deleted them all but 3..and this person SILE is still harassing me. Suggest find a grave put a muzzle on the person and hog tie their fingers.

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Piedpyper
US
Feb 10, 2019 7:54 pm EST

If you can't find that a certain person has a memorial in a cemetery and an obituary in your possession shows they're buried there then you simply make a memorial and add them to the cemetery. Probably no one else is going to do it. I don't understand what the problem is.

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JaneElroy
US
Nov 28, 2018 2:53 pm EST
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I don't understand your comment whatsoever. Find A Grave memorials have nothing to do with the websites owned by cemeteries.

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F
11:27 pm EDT

Find A Grave teresa s hony obituary

You have obituary and family completely wrong. I don't appreciate it. You all should not be allowed to publish false information.first off she died on disability from heart failure not liver failure. Second she has three kids and not the one you have listed the one you have listed just so happens to be my half brother on my father's side. Way to go.you better fix it or I will sue you. Her kids names are Lloyd Michael McKinney Jason Thomas McKinney and Heather mae McKinney Buckner.my phone number is [protected]

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Piedpyper
US
Feb 10, 2019 7:56 pm EST

I feel like the first half of fishingchick's complaint didn't get included. Maybe then it would have made some kind of sense. Is this what the public school system is churning out?

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JaneElroy
US
Nov 28, 2018 2:55 pm EST
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@Fishingchick79, on what basis are you going to sue? rolling on the floor...

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Trader2
US
Jul 13, 2019 11:51 pm EDT
Replying to comment of JaneElroy

Libel

False information in print that causes emotional injury.

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Elizabeth Olmstead
US
Jul 14, 2019 12:57 am EDT
Replying to comment of Trader2

I don't know who you or how you got my email address. But I want you to know that I have NO IDEA what you are ranting at me about. You need to get a life and keep away from me.
Rudeness is ugly just like jealousy.

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Elizabeth Olmstead
US
Jul 14, 2019 1:44 am EDT

And cyber stalking is a criminal offensr

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JaneElroy
US
Aug 17, 2019 8:29 am EDT
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Replying to comment of Trader2

@Trader2, there are very simple steps Fishingchick79 could take to get the errors corrected. Posting a complaint on a non-related website isn't one of them.

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Eliz Olmstead
US
May 06, 2018 10:54 am EDT
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Hey, I do have a lawyer and have sought to sue several authors who have me family all screwed.

They list my mother as a male named Clyde, they list totally incorrect surnames, they list all of my great grannys children as belonging to a couple who was way yon too old.

NOTHING CAN BE DONE. GET OVER YOUR RAVINGS.
LAWYERS NOT PUBLIC COURT ARE SIMPLY NOT INTERESTED.

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L
12:41 pm EDT
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Find A Grave technically supposed to be a site where people can remember their departed without a lot of hassle. The problem: By making a memorial you are opening yourself up to non family members (usually bored housewives) who make it their business to criticize your site, claiming the info you have is inaccurate and theirs is. If you tell these people to...

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B
12:13 pm EDT

Find A Grave find a grave ads

On August 15, 2017, I previewed the "new" Find a Grave and I am very dismayed. A look at my father's memorial showed a racy bra ad with cleavage zooming in and out. Has the management of Find a Grave no respect for the dead? My father was a disabled World War 2 veteran, a Bronze Medal recipient. That ad made me sick. What next, condom ads? I checked the ad as inappropriate, but the point is that it never should have been there. Worse, I see that if I want his memorial to be ad free, I have to pay a ransom of $5. The "new" Find a Grave is really disgusting.

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JaneElroy
US
Nov 28, 2018 2:56 pm EST
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Ever heard of adblocking utilities for your browser? Might want to check into them.

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7:58 am EDT
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Find A Grave grave search

Horrible site - mostly graveyard vampyres (bored to death housewives with nothing better to do than to see how many graveyard memorials they can make if they know the deceased or not.) Many times these individuals use inaccurate date & swipe copyrighted family photos from other sites. Usually when families complain it falls on deaf ears. Find A Grave is an invasion of privacy. Families have the right to mourn their departed without any grief from the find a grave team.

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JaneElroy
US
Nov 28, 2018 2:58 pm EST
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The copyright holder of an infringed photo can file a DMCA take-down notice with Find A Grave and they will remove the photo.
Would you be so kind as to list the law that gives families "the right to mourn their departed without any grief from the find a grave team"? Rolling on the floor... 'cause there ain't no such law. The dead have no privacy.

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T
7:33 pm EDT
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Find A Grave the service

Find A Grave for the most part is assorted photos of graves with bios made by bored housewives with usually no tie to the family. Its sort of a game - who can make the most memorials. Most of the info is inaccurate. In my particular case they took my grandparents names mixed them up with some1 else who was a distant cousin and then created the memorial. To make matters worse ancestry.com now owns find a grave. So these find a grave trolls got into family pages, swiped family photos and added them to their page. Now these trolls make make the claim family tree material is public record and they have a right to access it. That may be true. But private family photos are not public domain,

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JaneElroy
US
Nov 28, 2018 3:03 pm EST
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Hmm, guess you haven't read the "terms" of either Ancestry or Find A Grave recently. Anything you find on any Ancestry-owned website can be copied and republished on any other Ancestry-owned website. If you put "private family photos" on your public tree on Ancestry, they are no longer "private". Other members MAY use those photos, according to Ancestry's policies. When you use any site, you should really, really read all of their terms, policies, etc. so you know what you are agreeing to / allowed to do. I know, some people find that far too tedious and boring.

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9:53 am EST

Find A Grave membership

I discovered Find A Grave a short while ago when doing research on relative, Lt. Francis G. Turton who was a Silver Medal receipient that was KIA in
Germany shortly before WW II ended. I have attempted to contribute information to his bio but have been repeatedly been ignored while trying to obtain an "activation code". It is never sent to my email address (and, YES, I've verified that I registered my correct email!) Is anyone monitoring new requests?

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7:31 pm EST
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When you go more on findagrave even you would also wish to suicide. Findagrave are full of dead people and family and freind love/care/support message those who dont have strong faith, dont go findagrave. Many people originally not suicide, but when they visit findagrave or funeral sites, they all suicide and died. Yes findagrave do encourage...

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T
7:23 pm EST

Find A Grave unethical website

I see that someone else had this situation regarding someone photographing and posting her six-year old daughter's headstone and posting it on Find a Grave.

My grandson was murdered in 2014 and someone who's 'volunteering' for find a grave posted a memorial and pilfered photos from Facebook and the news the DAY AFTER we learned he was murdered.

This website has no review or filtering process, clearly no code of ethical conduct or consideration for family of people who have recently died. I can't even locate a way to complain, either to Sarah S.R. who won't post her full name but posted information about my grandson, or the company's owner. This is a terrible business practice and they should stop posting photos, etc of recently deceased without family permission, especially if there is pending litigation around that person's death.

And to the poster who told the complainant that if she buried her daughter in a public cemetery, that person has a right to photograph and post information about her daughter, I will support that claim when these 'researchers' post their personal information, parents' names and details they have posted about our loved ones for public searches and viewing.

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=140510118&ref=acom

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kellyher
US
May 29, 2017 1:08 am EDT

I feel strongly for both sides in this situation. It's extremely painful & so personal to stumble upon a close family members Head stone while exploring the internet. I've been there & felt like it was a kick in the stomach & disrespectful to a family that is still mourning a loss. On the other side it's so gratifying when you find the image of a family member's headstone... that died so many...years ago that the memory of them seems to have previously been wiped away.
In my family's instance - my grandmother's brother died in WW1. We knew nothing about dates, circumstances or where he was buried. His father might have known all of this in 1918 when it occured but it was something never discussed. Two generations later ..family members that could have answered my questions are all gone today. To me this man that died defending our country was more than just a name and a question mark. It's an uneasy feeling to not know what became of someone and where their final resting place is. Via ancestry i recently found his burial site, the date that his life ended & images of the stone and the surroundings ...in a very strange way this practice can give new life to a life lost so long ago in a far away land. BUT Somehow there should be a respectful time period aloud to pass...maybe as long as a generation plus...

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HKatW
Gainesville, US
Jan 16, 2023 3:55 am EST
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Replying to comment of kellyher

We aren't discussing the long deceased now, are we Kelly? The topic is recently deceased individuals whose families aren't given proper time to grieve before experiencing having their dead family members info poached by a memorial addict itching for their next fix of fake internet points. Burn the whole operation down.

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B
8:55 am EDT

Find A Grave this site is to be avoided at all costs

This site is to be avoided at all costs! There is a lot going on at the findagrave website that the unassuming public doesn't know about. This banning of members for no reason and deleting their memorials without cause will end up costing that website big and the members that are involved in this behavior will be held accountable.

I had a very negative experience with ###. I had been a member for over 9 years. The memorials I entered were mostly family members. One day out of the blue a member named BB started sending me emails about duplicate memorials. Her profile had no photo or bio and stated she had only been a member for 3 years. I checked into the memorials that she claimed were dupes and found that they were NOT dupes so I wrote back and let her know that the information she had must be incorrect. She continued sending emails up to 3 emails every five minutes. Since she was incorrect, I told her to stop harassing me. She did not respond and continued sending the emails.

A couple of days later I was trying to enter a memorial and my account was cancelled. I checked for my memorials and they were all deleted! All my photos and information was gone. I couldn't believe it, and I thought it must be an error. I contacted the admin to try and figure out what was going on. I asked them why I could not log in to my account. I didn't get a response. So I wrote again and asked them why my memorials were deleted. No response. I wrote a third time, asking when my account was going to be restored. No response. That was 8 months ago and I have never gotten a response. I checked the BB members account, and suddenly she's been a member for 9 years. After another couple of months, I checked it again and now it's up to 11 years. She IS the admin. For whatever reason they deleted my account and all my memorials then BB and some other members, probably admin as well, began stealing the information and the photos and posting them as their own. I lost years worth of work, including travel time all over the country and countless hours of research.

After my experience, I began researching the company to see what others were saying and I was completely stunned to find that there are literally hundreds of complaints about these people. Because of their underhanded tactics they have become a joke in the genealogy world. One professor who teaches genealogy courses makes a point of telling his students NOT to trust the information on that site because it is filled with errors and most of it has either been stolen or is in violation of copyright laws. I have also read that ancestry.com is having to repair the damage that ### has done by deleting memorials because they have caused broken links. This is a huge issue for ancestry and makes them look bad, which they do NOT take lightly. They are in the process of disassociating themselves from ### due to their tactics.

Unfortunately, some of the F.A.G. members are not only out of line, but their comments can only lead one to believe that they are inherently evil beings. In reference to deceased family members they post venomous comments that are not only inexcusable but downright mean, nasty and vile.

There's one member that wears a red bowl on her head with a white whirlybird thing on it. Her tagline reads "Go play in the microwave - you pest". I'm completely serious. I realize it's hard to believe that an adult would do something like this but the worst part about it, aside from it being completely inappropriate and cruel, is that she's one of the administrators.

The forums are filled with horrible comments, which are aimed towards insulting and offending members, former members, new members, and people that don't agree with the "core group". They refer to the site as "Jim's playground". They consider the "Frequently Asked Questions" section to be sacred text. Time and time again you'll see them post such caring comments as "go cry somewhere else", people need to learn to "play by the rules", and banished members are "sniveling children".

Keep in mind this is a site that has memorials on it. These memorials represent many deceased friends and family members from all parts of the globe. Most people would assume that the site is supposed to be used to honor the dead and/or as a reference tool for genealogy. However, upon further examination, and after having experienced firsthand the underhanded tactics, obnoxious and inappropriate terminology and language used there, it is painfully obvious that this is just a hideout for a group of overgrown bullies haunting and slashing their way through the pages of this online graveyard.

There is nothing upstanding, caring, considerate, or honorable about the administrators that run this site or their minions that freely admit to trolling page after page looking for errors and problems to "report back" to their leader. There is nothing kind or loving about the way they handle questions, complaints, or opinions. There is nothing dignified at all about these people who control a website that houses memorials of people's loved ones. It's difficult to believe that any human being could be that wicked and ruthless but it's all right there in plain English for the whole world to see. Shame on those people - shame!

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TruthSeeker69
US
May 29, 2017 1:11 am EDT

As a member of Find A Grave since the web was in its infancy, I can tell you with certainty that not all of us are "inherently evil beings."

As a genealogist, I have standards and there are certain things that I will not do (I will not take pictures of tombstones of children who have died within the past 50 years and I will not take pictures of tombstones of adults who have died within 10 years. Even so, if someone asks me to delete a memorial, no matter how old it is, it's deleted. No questions asked). It doesn't say much for you, or anyone else, to make such sweeping statements about people.

Bottom line: I'm interested in accuracy, not becoming a "Top Contributor" to the website (if I wanted that, I would have had it about a decade before many people even heard or read about the site).

I'm so old I remember when the website had zero to do with genealogy. Its original intention/focus was featuring famous memorials - and people were unable to leave comments on the pages.

When the site was opened up to non-famous memorials, that's when the proverbial sh** hit the fan. And with the advent and popularity of garbage TV shows such as "Who Do You Think You Are?", this encouraged people who fancied themselves "genealogists" to get involved with the website, because all one has to do is create an account and, boom, your "work" is posted right away, accuracy be damned.

It's that caliber of person who has made the website into a joke - posting nothing more than names and years of birth and death. And it's that same type of bored individual who creates the drama you spoke about because that's what happens when people choose to live in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing else going on, so fire up a machine and spout goofy sh**. Everyone shouldn't be painted with the same brush for the childish few.

As for Billion Graves: That website is a joke, along with Interment.net. I like FindAGrave's option to stick information with the memorial because all I ever wanted to do was help people who were looking for family members to find the information I post in as many memorials as I can.

The only information I post is from the public record - yes, tombstones are public along with newspaper death notices and obituaries. And plenty of people have contacted me over the years thankful for the information I posted as it helped them with their research. That is the ONLY reason why I am on that website.

Given the amount of time I have been on the site, I have gotten a few wisea**es along the way, but I put them in their places (and, no, I am not an administrator). I have even had one contributor who actually stalked me in a few cemeteries and started going through my interments to see what cemeteries I was posting a lot in. She would go to these cemeteries every single day and take her crooked, blurry photos (that she claimed copyright to!) just so she could edge me out. She even created another account on the site (no picture nor bio) thinking no one would realize they were the same person.

Again, this is what happens when you live in the middle of nowhere, your computer is your only form of entertainment, and you have nothing else to do but live in cemeteries.

So I “get it” that there are plenty of people with "issues" on Find A Grave.

On the other hand, I have corresponded with some of the nicest, most helpful people through the site. They're trying to do what I'm there for: We're just trying to document cemeteries (especially older burials) as there are people who live far away from these cemeteries and who cannot travel or go to a cemetery for one reason or the other.

And too many cemeteries are being neglected in this day and age, so perhaps it's a good thing people like myself take pictures and document the older stones before the information on them disappears ... or the stone sinks into the ground.

In the grand scheme of things, though: Find A Grave was never to be used for genealogy. It morphed into that. Next time, do a little homework before you brand everyone with the same iron while accusing others of doing the same. There is a term for that behavior.

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MnMan
Faribault, US
Sep 18, 2012 8:54 pm EDT

I am sorry you had to learn about the lurking evil the hard way. Had I known that kind of evil was lurking in the shadows, I would have never participated on on the site. Billion Graves is a great alternative. Thank you for speaking out and warning others. Everything you said is important for others to know.

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B
9:13 am EDT

Find A Grave abused and bullied by a administrator and her friends

Used and abused, added thousands of photos and memorials sponsored 10 memorials when my account was suspended (by a biased administrator)all my hard work remained. Jim Tipton profits from those of use that visit and photograph cemeteries. His administrators play favorites and will favor their friends over other members. My contributions put thousands of dollars in Jim Tipton's pocket and all I got was harrassed, abused and bullied by a administrator and her friends. DO NOT JOIN FIND A GRAVE AND NEVER CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING YOU WILL REGRET IT IF NOT NOW EVENTUALLY!

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
Jan 22, 2017 7:09 am EST
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Why is it that certain members of Find A Grave seem to think they are the cops and can flood your email with orders to fix this or that memorial? It is cyber stalking and cyber bullying and the administrators don't care.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
US
Jan 11, 2017 7:42 pm EST

I feel sad of you that you had even paid money to the site.

I am free member they also bully us. you are paid, they should not be rude to anyone who paid them. their site.

I feel sorry for you even having money paid.

they keep on suspend people now.

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M
4:54 am EDT
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I have had similar experiences. This site is a dictatorship and it hides behind the guise of helping others connect with their loved ones. They are despicable! I have experienced the rudeness of the admins, the failure to respond, and the deletion of years worth of work due to preferential treatment of another member. The member's name is BB - no bio...

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5:48 am EDT

Find A Grave the owner of this sight is making millions of dollars off of death and people's grief

This is not a "genealogical register for burials". It is a website that offers virtual "memorials" for the deceased. These people are not genealogists. No real and professional genealogist would be associated with a site that offers an "upgrade this memorial" or "remove these ads" link. It's disgusting and it exploits the dead and their surviving family members. The owner of this sight is making millions of dollars off of death and people's grief. The people that post these pictures and information on the deceased DO NOT have the permission of family members to create "memorials" for their loved ones. The only people that have the right to preserve the memory of an individual are the people that knew and loved them. Not weird, morbid, lurkers that go into cemeteries stepping on graves to increase a number by their name on the findagrave.com website.

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CemeteryGirl
US
Jun 18, 2013 1:52 am EDT

I do findagrave and alot of time I dont know the people but its not about any number to increase in stats I promise. I want people ot be memorialized for other relatives who cant find them.

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B
7:53 am EDT

Find A Grave beware of this site

I was banned recently for disagreeing with some of the lifer/lurker types on the discussion board. No cursing, no personal attacks on any specific individual ... just disagreeing with them.

Beware of this site. And trust me, they read this message board. They quote it all the time and make fun of the people who post here. They know exactly who you people are, and they wish they could ban you here too -- but this is beyond their reach. And it gets to them.

Trust me -- you can get their goat here. We're not talking about a group of mature adults here, we're talking about a bunch of Mall Cops (my apologies to Mall Cops everywhere).

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10:29 am EDT

Find A Grave stay away from this one

Thanks everyone for posting your similar ### experiences with the ### forum freaks. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that had bad experiences. I have not run into such a bunch of crass, controlling, unprofessional, psychotic dolts ever. Seems to be some strange obsessive fascination that attracts these misfits there in droves. Mind you I'm not talking about the normal average users there are some very nice people and very helpful too but I'm talking about the greedy obsessive egomaniacs you are certain to find in what I'd call the "ForThem's" Number one hint - don't EVER use the forums unless you are a masochist. Do whatever you want! It will hopefully drive these people over the edge. They genuinely seem to love spending every waking second berating and demeaning people.

Sucks to be them when they die, think of all the others that went before waiting for them to explain why they wouldn't transfer their memorial to their loved one that wanted it?

You just keep hoarding those memorials sisters and denying transfers to family members! Wherever you go you'll have lots of explaining to do!

Users needs will eventually dictate changes to ### so it can and will be used more fairly or not at all. Change is the one constant in life and you can take to the bank.

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9:23 am EDT
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Who gave anyone at this "hobby site", the "right" to stand on my father's grave and take a picture of his tombstone? Unlike the many "famous" people and their graves that begin this site... it has now devolved into a grave violating hobby for a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than to aspire for "top honors" for the greatest number of grave...

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12:04 pm EST

Find A Grave rude admins

I have been a member of FindAGrave for a few years and have had my fill of the rude admins. they have running their site. After reading a "help" forum, I was so irritated, I decided to end my membership. This comment wasn't even directed towards me, but this unprofessionalism is the norm, rather than the exception. Actually, there are two admins that are rude all the time. One being counted58x. Below is how she responded to someone's question in the forums. She is an absolute "B"! Why would anyone want to put up with these people?

Originally Posted By: ludlowbay

With regard to recent forum conversations concerning headstone cleaning do's & don'ts, I would still like clarification about the punishments that are repeatedly mentioned for failure to comply. I am NOT advocating any challenges to the discussion of proper cleaning methods, or the Find A Grave system in general.

I find only one mention of suspension in all of the FAQs, and that is in regard to charging money for taking photos. I find zero mentions of banned or time out.

If another member speaks in the forum, purportedly on behalf of Find A Grave and says "you can be given a time-out or permanently banned", I want to know where I can find the official version of that statement.

HER RESPONSE (counted58x):

My goodness. You do have trouble taking a hint, don't you?

We completely rewrote the FAQ last year and made them much more exhaustive. Do we need to spell out every little thing?

Don't chalk. Don't touch a stone that doesn't belong to you. Don't worry about consequences unless you do things we've told you not to do. That should be sufficient for adults to understand.

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12:28 pm EST

Find A Grave stay away

My name is Cindy McPhee, I last wrote here because I was really upset about find a grave unprofessionalism they never would explain why they turned off my account and picked on my Little sister (just because she was related to me) I at first felt taken advantage of because I had cared about the nice people and the angel's that I had flowererd and then I finally called the BBB, and when I got angry they answered me, when I was nice and friendly they ignored me, they changed my memorials to their own words and let me look like the creator still even though they took ownership of my memorials, not my grandma but the other memorial's i wrote they were murder victims, they erased that they were killed, when everyone else there has murdered victims memorials made they bullied me and let so many of the other members gossip and write horrible public board lies about me and my deceased husband "Let the dead rest, rude people at find a grave" I filed my complaint about how I was treated very poorly, and I was told they are being investigated from alot of not just the BBB but other agencies as well, if they were more professional and fair they would be ok, but since they act so rude to people who cared about their site, they show their true colors AJ, Jim tipton, Darlene this girl that thinks she owns the site, and people who are there just for flower counts and running people around like they're in high school still being bully's. I call this place Find A Gossip, They left a very sick slanderous lie gossip story about my dead husband and me for atleast 3 days over a month and I had asked nicely 4x to please erase this note since they deleted my husbands memorial, and a fake memorial took his place, they didn't care about my dead husband. I just found out it is barely off it took that long had I written it I would have been in trouble but when their people write rude lies and slanderous comments seriously defamation of character they let it stay they just now erased it because I think this is no longer a joke it's gotten serious, my sister has an account she is afraid to even get on and leave a flower for our dad and grandma, because they said they are watching her and she doesn't do anything, so threats to her go unwarranted my also my 18 yr. old has an account for his dog that was shot last christmas, they deleted his account because he was related to me also but, then restored it, he is going to the Marine's in June he did nothing and they deleted him like my sister, I spoke up so yes, they of course deleted me but my sister and son wo, obviously because they are related to me, they both don't want to go on because they don't need the lies and drama of whatever lies will be made up nest, So instead of find a grave, I call it find a gossip, I enjoyed the nice people but when the admin. people are so unfair and controlling and just plain unprofessional and have their favorites, then it becomes something totally different as long as you don't ask any questions why they are treating you or your memorials a mean way then they feel they own you. well, it's sad there, I have gotten emails from across the world that I met there and even all around the usa, about this site. It's ridiculous some people just want to see who can pass out the most flowers or who gets the most flowers so so sad, not there from there heart but like a competition. They do have some good people contributors there and they have been very caring and encouraging to me and my family. As for the people who run *** I have to say it's too bad for the way it is run. Blessings to Angels in Heaven.

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AmitChak
US
Oct 16, 2018 7:09 pm EDT

I got suspended from Find A Grave for uploading "copyright" photographs I took MYSELF on holidays over the years to various religious sites. I will never pay another penny to that scam company.

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JaneElroy
US
Nov 28, 2018 2:42 pm EST
Verified customer This complaint was posted by a verified customer. Learn more
Replying to comment of AmitChak

Find A Grave is a free website so you must be talking about a different website.

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Jessica Jackson Cole
US
May 03, 2018 11:58 am EDT

I am so so bad Cindy, I just posted a Burial Unknown at [censored] and even posted an obituary with living family members names on it! The picture I posted was beautiful, their face was so peaceful looking laying there in the casket. Of course I had URL's to other memorial sites to honor the deceased. Thank you Find A Grave!

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Jessica Jackson Cole
US
May 03, 2018 11:46 am EDT

I am so sorry Cindy and others for your bad experiences at Find-a-Grave([censored]). To avoid problems, a new or old contributor should totally avoid the [censored] Forums, any communications with [censored] staff and if contributor Diehard harasses you, do not respond to it. [censored]'s new website is riddled with errors. Don't complain about these errors as the staff
are overwhelmed by the bugs and they could ban you. [censored] had erased several of my bios in the past without notice and blocked me from going back into the profile. The new website no longer has that feature enabled so I was able to restore my profiles. Use the screwed up new website to your advantage and for God's sakes don't complain or interact with the staff or [censored] crazies. And just hope Diehard does not come for you.

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Anon-mouse
US
Nov 12, 2015 11:39 am EST

Dear Marthann Kohl-Fuhs,
I'm so sorry for your experiences. Please understand that some of these people have nothing better to do than to find fault with other people's work. They are at a point in their life where they feel unappreciated unless they are being smug and superior as they find infractions to jump on -- like a crazed religious fanatics on a quest to sniff for sinners and stomp them out. They can quote the numerous findagrave guidelines off the top of their heads like some can quote scripture...
The rules are supposed to be guidelines, but to them they are precious dictates that give them raison d'être as they pontificate to others. Many of the guidelines have good intentions. For instance, duplicates are not a good idea as it confuses those that lookup loved ones. I once had a handful of them because someone had two separate cemetery listings instead of multiple alias cemetery names for the same cemetery. Luckily, the contributor who caught it was a gentleman who nicely explained the issue. He wasn't one of those self righteous fanatics that get their panties wadded all out of shape because there was an infraction.
These fanatics are not very technical savvy, so they cannot even think of what the future of findagrave might be. Take the case of Burials Unknown. It really serves no purpose to put one's whole family in findagrave if you have no clue where any of them are buried. Some people (very few) have done that and it is about as useful to do as using a hammer to scramble eggs -- wrong tool for the wrong job... That is best to do in a genealogy program until you have a better idea where they are buried. Unlike some of those infraction police, I'm not going to jump up and down about it like some fanatic. I'm simply stating the obvious -- it serves no purpose.
However, there are times where there are many good reasons as to why you suspect where the dead are buried, but cannot prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. It would be simple for findagrave to implement an indicator that states that a memorial is for someone where their is xyz info about their lives, and the info so far known about the dates and location of their demise and what is the believed location of their burial. (For examples, sometimes you have an obituary that states where they are buried, yet the cemetery itself has no record, or records lost/destroyed, and of course no headstone.) Then in these cases simply leave it as a burial unknown. If you put all the facts you know, perhaps one day records will surface, and at that time the burial unknown can be put in the proper cemetery.
Unfortunately, the infraction police cannot see past the end of their nose, so they want to scream if they even find one Burial Unknown. As a result, scared contributors do something that is even worse -- they simply plop some one in a cemetery so that it will be a long time before the truth becomes known. I specifically have an ancestor who died and then his widow and children moved to another state. His family's graves are known. However, where he himself is buried is probably in the cemetery in their original hometown, but for whatever reasons, it is not known for sure. Sadly, a very distant relative decided to plop him in the state his loved ones moved to. (I seriously doubt that in the early 1800's people dug up their dead and moved them hundred of miles to their new location.) This relative contributor meant well, but it was completely wrong and misleading. I would rather he had put all the info correctly INCLUDING the fact that we know where and when he died, but that there is NO definitive proof exactly where he is buried (perhaps either in the hometown cemetery or perhaps on their farmland). I'm not going to link up his children with this memorial because it simply is misleading. His widow's memorial clearly states that his burial is truly unknown that visitors can read for themselves. That said, unlike these fanatics it would give me no pleasure to shame this contributor, nor hound the admins until they destroyed his memorial to this ancestor.
I also understand why there are guidelines for ownership of photos and quoting things such as obituaries. They are simply protecting themselves should the real owners of the photos or obituaries make a fuss. They don't want to get into legal entanglements.
Most of these fanatical storm troopers have lost their steam with the implementation with the forms for general updates to memorials (dates, names, links, etc). However, sadly there is not an ignore feature for these fanatics. Even if there were, they would be commiserating with their fellow fanatics on the findagrave forums about how horrible others are, and how wonderful the good old days were when findagrave had fewer features and fewer contributors. (Speaking of the forums, comment on them at your own risk. If you say anything that pisses them off, they will swarm on your memorials looking for things to criticize and then bombard you with complaints.) I had already gotten rid of any dups way before I got on the forums. I also don't have to use others photos nor quote obituaries, as I have my own info. I also had so few burials unknown (and definitely no plopping of the deceased into cemeteries where they are not located), that I could not satisfy their lustful cravings to get all pissy and find fault with my memorials. I won't go into what infraction they bug me about, but it gets really old.
Perhaps one day they will find that their is more to life than spending your time being anal retentive and making others' lives miserable. Until then what you should feel is pity.

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Glendora Whetstone
US
Aug 22, 2015 4:50 pm EDT

LOL Marthann... I guess you will go back to those places. Since you're banned from FindAGrave, what other choice do you have? You still owe me an apology though. You accused me of using a fake name and email and that is not true. You also said you didn't get a warning from Find A Grave. I know that's a lie. You were told to clean up your listings, but you just ignored it and kept listing more and more that still broke the rules. Now you are here and at Pissed Consumer running your mouth and disrespecting people and getting told how it really is. By the way, I finally got those living people listings deleted... you know, the ones you created for linking purposes when their spouses died? How sick!

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
Aug 20, 2015 9:00 am EDT
Verified customer This complaint was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

TO: deedra-dennis, “Ladybug” member #[protected]; Glendora (member #[protected]) ; Diehard (member #[protected]); GatheringMyFamily (member #[protected]); GerbLady (member #[protected]); Honoring our ancestors (member #[protected]); Apollymi (member #[protected]), & others:
I am just going to go back to where I started: http://www.usgenweb.org/; http://iagenweb.org/; http://iagenweb.org/shelby/ and http://iowagravestones.org/; where if you look me up, I have posted thousands of gravestone photos in nearly every cemetery in the county I live in. I have transcribed thousands of pages of bios and other items.
I admit I didn't even read the ### guidelines until people like you started whining, I also didn't know guidelines are rules?
I mistakenly thought that since ### was connected to Ancestry.com, that it was for family history research.
I find it's just so ### gets richer with every memorial that is posted.
I am finished with this conversation.

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One User
US
Aug 19, 2015 6:07 pm EDT

Marthann, don't worry about the memorials. Find A Grave is managing them and the "police" will submit corrections so those memorials are not only fitting tributes but also are in alignment with the site's guidelines.

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deedra-dennis
US
Aug 18, 2015 2:58 pm EDT

Marthann, I have photographed and added over 4000 memorials from walking the cemeteries row by row. Added over 12000 photos I personally took with my own camera. Driven over 3 hours at a time to go to cemeteries. I do not steal, nor do I list burial unknowns EVER. I do not duplicate. I do not steal photos from obituaries, funeral home websites, or other memorials. I do not list currently living survivors in the bios (family excluded). I follow the rules. If I find a death certificate or old obituary and the person is not listed on the site, I add their memorial after a very careful search - completely allowed by the site. I appreciate and welcome edits, and have sent over 5000 myself to other contributors since the new system was implemented - taking my own time to help ensure their memorials are correct and complete. I am thankful I am healthy enough to go to cemeteries and do this work. Your attitude would exclude any disabled person who wants to contribute - tell a wheelchair bound person they can't contribute because they can't walk in the cemetery? Completely supercilious on your part. I too am surprised you were not banned before now, based on what I've seen. You earned your RNA, pure and simple. You are simply mad because other people "beat you to it" and had the memorials listed before you could do it yourself out of those "cemetery books". I agree with JulieLinn, start your own website and then you are accountable to no one.

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JulieLinn
US
Aug 18, 2015 1:31 pm EDT

Oh, wait, one more peeve. I am constantly stunned that people are literally bawling in different places that Joe Schmoe didnt thank them for their work. Seriously? I made a version of the following statement and got booted from a Facebook page for my trouble: If you need to be thanked for being a volunteer, so badly, buy yourself a teeshirt that say "I'm Spiffy, " and get over it.
So, while you very unhappy people are stuck in 9th grade, I will now actually get out to another cemetery and start taking some pictures that I will accurately enter into the system and watch my numbers grow higher and higher because everyone knows that if you are doing your volunteer work as best as you can, you and either the ### Police or "in it for the numbers."
GROW UP.

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JulieLinn
US
Aug 18, 2015 1:30 pm EDT

Dear Complainers, You all scare me. I have been a member for almost 6 years and when I get edits I am thrilled because I want my memorials to be as accurate as possible. You seem to think that getting an edit, i.e., following FAQs is akin to Nazi, Germany. I, too, am a Row Mower and for a person who "mows the rows" edits should mostly be dates, places and links, with the possibility of obit information, because the information is right there for us to see in the picture.
### is not a Family Tree/Genealogy program for free, its a TOOL for people to use to document or find someone. That is, in my opinion, the single biggest issue that separates the unhappy complainers from the ones doing it correctly. Also, it takes quite a bit of FAQ breaking to become what is known as RNA. I have a cousin to whom I gave over our family cemetery memorials for him to manage. Unbeknownst to me, he got an RNA status, when I found out I had them transferred back to me. When I contacted my cousin, you know what he said, "I screwed up." He had been pretty blatantly abusing the BU status and when he was warned several times, he didnt take it seriously. He owned up. Maybe you all need to own up.
For the person who said to complain to Ancestry. Well, when you do send an email to ###, they are Ancestry employees already, however, think about this. Ancestry is a mess, an absolute mess, I hear all the time about massive amounts of bad, incorrect, undocumented, etc., information. Do you know why? BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU DIDNT WANT TO FOLLOW THE RULES. Do you really want that for ###?
I would love it if ### would hire me to be someone to police the memorials, I would do it for free, truly. I would pay them to let me, if I win the lottery on Wednesday. I think it is that important. Remember, our time here is nothing but a blip and in 100 years, I want my descendants to see that I did the best I could with the information I had.
I am not a genealogist, I think that is mostly the problem. My thoughts, my opinion, is that those who scream they are Genealogists are exactly like those that scream they are Good Christians, they aren't either one, good or otherwise. Those that may indeed be actual Genealogists wouldn't EVER try to take over a tool like ###. They would see that the person they are looking for is in the system and know where to go to get their own documentation from there. That is how a true Genie would behave. No professional Genie would use ### for anything other than a tool and a new lead or starting place. It is because of our VOLUNTEER work, that they get these leads, but still the work needs to be accurate.
My last peeve with people who complain about ### is that yelling at the top of your lungs the hours and hours and HOURS you have sacrificed for ### and then you got booted. Why in the heck would anyone in their right mind want to put in thousands of hours incorrectly? If you are just unable to follow the FAQs why don't you start your own website? Then you can make your own rules and be happy.

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Alpha Papa
US
Feb 25, 2018 10:27 am EST
Replying to comment of JulieLinn

The problem with so many like you though, is that you mark your bio page "not accepting messages" and its hard to edit to add, say, a sibling that is not already there.. I have had this issue over my own family pages, ppl who refuse to edit correctly.. example.. My uncle was listed as being the son of his grandparents and his aunts and uncles.. when initally approached politely and asked to fix her mistake she came back at all of us as a rabid nutcase..when asked to transfer ownership of the pages to me, or my cousin she refused.. we tracked her down and used a lawyer to get her to transfer ownership, sadly she, out of immature spite, transferred to other ppl who were happy to fix the mistakes... for some reason though, no one will add my dad as a sibling or a son..
what I and other family find reprehensible is the tramping all over a privately owned cemetery owned by the plot holders privately.. not asking if it is okay to photograph the headstones for public consumption. This has led to board discussions on whether or not to shut the gates permanently to non family without a key. you ppl get what you reap... as a board member I voted to shut the public.. I offered personally to bear the cost of the new gate locks..

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JaneElroy
US
Nov 28, 2018 2:39 pm EST
Verified customer This complaint was posted by a verified customer. Learn more
Replying to comment of Alpha Papa

Having messages enabled on your PROFILE has nothing whatsoever to do with getting changes made to a memorial. Many of us shut off the messages because people left corrections there instead of using the proper procedure. I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing about using a lawyer to get management of a Find A Grave memorial. What a total crock.
Also, if the cemetery is open to public visitation, ANYONE can visit and photograph. Permission from the family is not necessary. Even if the gates are closed to non-members, any grave that can be seen from a public thoroughfare (street or sidewalk) or from neighboring property can be photographed. If something is in public VIEW, it can be legally photographed.

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11:54 am EST
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I signed up with this website 7 years ago... added 2 people I knew, NEVER HAD A PROBLEM BEFORE, thought they had their act together, until one of my own passed on, so I made a memorial for her since her sister decided to have a friend post an obituary in a newspaper cuting out the entire family and claiming to be the only living relative, whats the next...

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8:54 pm EST

Find A Grave stay away

I have posted several memorials to Greenwood and Oakwood cemeteries in Montgomery, Alabama and had them deleted. One person is responsible for this Denise #[protected]. She has just deleted my memorials and entered the same memorial with her name on it. One day my memorial is there and the next day it is gone. There have been a couple of times she claimed they were duplicates; but the birth and death dates are different. Sometimes the names are close but anyone can tell it is not the same person. I have complained to findagrave about her but nothing is been done. After reading the comments here I understand a little better about how findagrave runs. It is a shame that they are letting people like this represent them. It will be their downfall. You don't hear about many complaints because they do delete people off their website if they complain too much. This happened to a friend of mine who complained about this same person. I think about leaving the website; but I have been a member for over 5 years and have put a lot of work into it. If my work keeps getting deleted I want have a choice. I am glad for the chance here to express complaints and hope others will feel free to do so. This is the only way we can change things.

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StupidBarb
Flagstaff, US
Mar 20, 2014 9:30 pm EDT

I know the "Barb" that you're referring to. Her findagrave ID # is [protected]. She claims to be a genealogist but she's actually an elderly grave monger that gets her kicks from irritating the living. The findagrave volunteers should be held accountable for their actions and stop hiding behind their anonymity. We can only hope that "Barb" will be resting comfortably in her own grave sometime soon.

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barbisanidiot
woodland hills, ca, US
Feb 26, 2014 12:33 pm EST

Stay away is right! Avoid Barb ([protected]) at all costs! She has no ethics or morals and she makes the living appear to be dead. She's a self-proclaimed "great genealogist" and nothing could be farther from the truth. Geriatric incompetency at it's finest!

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imalivenotdead
Fort Bragg, US
Feb 21, 2014 11:43 am EST

Jim Tipton has created a monster! An all volunteer monolith of doggie doo doo.One of the volunteers that goes by the name of "Barb" has posted grave marker photos on the Internet with last names only. These grave marker photos are prominently displayed on the Internet next to photos of me. Now people think I'm dead. I'm looking forward to meeting Jim and Barb in court!

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Find A Grave reviews first appeared on Complaints Board on Dec 8, 2010. The latest review Birth, marriage, and death certificates was posted on Jun 3, 2024. The latest complaint theft was resolved on Aug 23, 2012. Find A Grave has an average consumer rating of 1 stars from 83 reviews. Find A Grave has resolved 2 complaints.
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