Outdoor Adventures

Not so much a complaint, rather a word of caution to those who got the call and the key to potentially win a new truck or $20k. While I knew going into the sales pitch that it was poor odds of winning the grand prize, there were smaller prizes that we had better odds of winning (I thought) such as a tablet, $500 in cash, etc. We arrived to the dilapidated camp ground where we were promptly led to a musky minivan and given the grand tour. All during the winding, less than scenic drive, the sales women was asking obvious qualifying questions to gain information for later ammunition during the high pressure sales presentation which was later to come. We were then ushered into a large room with several stations that were used for the final sales/closing stage of the 90 minute endeavor. The sales lady then directed our children, 2 and 4, to a room with a big window and a sliding glass door with soundproof padding on the walls assumingely for children to be contained and silenced. At this point I felt kinda weird and guilty while closing them into the Hannibal Lecter like cell.

Then, came the big sales pitch. At this moment in the presentation we were shown how ill advised our vacation habits were in comparison to their resort membership. On and on this point was relentlessly drilled into our heads. With illustrations made on scrap paper, bar graphs, pie charts and I feel, if not stopped, we were going to be given a claymation demonstration of the benefits of the resort. Ninety minutes later, battered and bruised we sat, our children through the large window, starred upon us with bored and melancholy eyes, we decided we have endured all we can endure and enough was enough.

We declined the membership offer and was then hit with the ol' "let me get my manager" to where me and my wife viscerally exclaimed "NO!" Immediately the demeanor of the once pleasant sales lady became cold, distant, and offended. After the failed sales pitch, we were then escorted to a tiny room with a wall of previous winners that suspiciously ended with the 2016 winner. We inserted our key and sadly, it did not turn. We were then given a laminated sheet of punch out gift cards to random websites of mysterious companies which all came with their own set of stipulations. While baffled and dejected by the whole experience, my wife and I got into our car and then asked the question "what about the other prizes (tablet, $500) that we were in the letter?" Also, "why were there no winners beyond 2016?" Questions that will haunt and echo on and on for our lifetime. At that moment of collective rumination, we then saw the sales lady starting a new sales presentation with a new set of potential investors. To all it may concern, nobody wins, except for Father Time for you only lose a portion of life that can never be recovered.