Alabama Department Of Human Resources / Dhr.Alabama.gov
Reviews and Complaints

I know a woman who has been fighting 6 years to get her kids out of dhr's grips due to circumstances outside of her control. He husband at the time had a drug issue and she was in and out the hospital quite frequently. Very long story short she has complied to EVERYTHING the court required and told her to for many years that I have known her! When her case closed initially her cousin got custody due to her health issue and her husband passed away. The courts said from that day forth it's only her. No more ex husband! To this day the GAL still hold her past against her!
Fast forward 6yrs and she is healthy, has not been in the hospital for any extended period of time, and has complied with everything she has been told to do. Is under contract with a doctor that drug tests her every month so drug abuse is totally out! The custodian of the kids (her cousin) has been an awful human being if you even call him that. He doesn't follow court orders unless it suits him. He even says courts can't touch him and only God himself could make him do what's right!
*This year her youngest son was MOLESTED REPEATEDLY in their home along with the grandparents home! He had the kids lie to their mother and say everything was fine for over a month! Only told her when DHR was notified by a councilor! Refused to let DHR talk to the mother and continues to bully her and threaten on a weekly basis! We hired a lawyer we can't afford to handle this instead of the court appointed lawyers that do nothing in hope we can actually make this stop and return her kids to her!
Now I had an case that closed and I got custody of my daughters as well as got her approved to be alone with my kids! Now she is allowed to be alone with my kids but DHR is saying she can't be alone with her own! Her case had no abuse, no neglect, no abuse of any kind!
She was suppose to goto court today yet guess what?!?! Nope no court they are only giving her 4hrs and still can't talk to her kids alone. No returning to her custody in the near future NOTHING!
THIS ENTIRE SYSTEM IS BROKEN! Drug addicts and child abusers get their children faster than this poor woman! She has lived with me for 6 years and has taken care of my kids for the past 3 and there is no other person on this planet I would trust with kids more than her! Please God is there anyway to resolve this issue so she can get her justice?!?! We are starting to loose all hope

My fiance and I have just had our third child. We spent a month in court separated from our first born two years ago and after a month a judge ruled that a domestic violence charge I had that did not involve a child and past parental rights case on my fiance had no bearing in the case. The judge ordered my daughter back to my home that day. My fiance does take prescribed medication and does suffer from high functioning autism deemed by doctors to be capable of raising a child. Well those same cases that have already been deemed non relevant was the reason my children were taken away from me with no judge order or warrant we participated in the in home urine and hair follicle drug screening provided proof of food clothes beds electricity but my kids were still removed due to past closed cases deemed not relevant I was denied 5 times to get any copys of paperwork basically in a nutshell I was denied any parental rights even when we proved my fiances medication prescriptions I am seeking legal actions against these two individuals for ignoring my parental rights unlawful removal of my children violation of freedom of information And I do have recording of me stating that the closed cases bieng the reason of removal of my children was unjust and the worker not denying

My brother called in and reported that he saw me doing drugs in front of my boyfriends children. However, my brother lives in New Jersey and reported that he witnessed the use in December. His girlfriend said that he told her, "I will do anything to get Meg into treatment, including threatening to call the HR. He suffered a Trumatic brain injury, and I have three people willing to testify that he is dishonest and unreliable. His girlfriend tried to call the caseworker, Ashley, today and she hung up on her. Ashley is also ignoring me, even though there is an open case against me. My father and my brothers' girlfriend, as well as ex girlfriend are willing to testify that he is dishonest and unreliable as well, and suffered a Trumatic brain injury. I have had to hire a lawyer to represent me in a false allegation resulting in defamation of character case.

There have been multiple complaints about a guy who does drugs and leave his kids at home at all times and nothing has been done due to the fact that his family work in law enforcement and I domt think it's fair to the kids. There are men in and out the house. Sex offenders in and out all time of night and yet the kids are still there. Help me understand.

I am writing to complain of a worker who came to my home to interview my stepchildren and my husband on 8/6/2020. All the kids in our home we have custody of. I have one that is 17. My husband has three. One is 18, 14 and 10. I apologize I do not have her name because at no time did she tell or give my husband and I her name, card, or anything. She did not call before coming which I was told is a requirement. When she arrived I let her know we were in St Clair and was she with St Clair due to we had already dealt with this before. She said it is not a county thing but a state thing. I told her we had dealt with this prior in February when my ex made a false claim against me and we were told it had to immediately go to St. Clair who has the legal jurisdiction, which it did. At that point, she then said she could call the cops if it was an issue. There was no issue other than her behavior and being in the wrong district. I asked a question due to I knew it was wrong jurisdiction and to keep from wasting the State's time and taking away from children wo need DHR, I assumed we would not be dealing with this again and it would be verified before coming out to a home on which county. She did half way through her visit call to make sure after she asked my husband what we had to prove we were St. Clair which we had tags and anything but once I got she said she did not need cause she was on the phone. Mind you she is outside and on the phone with county speaking while my neighbors are right next door outside within hearing distance.

To back up on how I know about the jurisdictions, my first case in February 2021 was found non-indicated. This after my child got caught skipping $500 ACT classes and got grounded and was upset and went to school and they allowed her to call her dad and they came up this plan to try and get her there cause at dads house there is no rules. Her school actually broke rules and code in allowing her father to have access to her when she is at school and that was a court order. Once it was found non-indicated, I was not notified I actually had to continue to follow up myself. To this day, I have never been mailed anything saying it was found non-indicated but was told by the case worker I had Mackenzie. I was told was supposed to happen and a requirement. I also sent an email asking for one and never received anything. I was told it was passed on to a supervisor but nothing was done. The email I sent was on 7/2/21 and was sent to mackenzie.[protected]@dhr.alabama.gov at 12:58 pm. At 1:07 pm I received an email it was being forwarded to the email chain of a supervisor. I never heard anything. I was asking for this as my ex had now filed something in Mississippi since his stunt in Alabama did not work in June 2021. He kept my daughter for almost a month and I went to court over there on July 6th and fought all his accusations as well as a letter accusing me of the most awful and won everything and my daughter was ordered to be returned to me immediately and police were to assist if it was needed. Even though I asked for a non-indicated letter to assist in court since he was using the allegations and saying I was found guilty, it was not given to me nor has it ever.

Back to Friday Aug 6, 2021 when the unidentified case worker saw that I was frustrated and once again blind sided due to another kid in our home not getting their way and acting entitled going to a non-custodial parent and complaining she did not get a two piece, she (case worker) immediately took advantage of that and was treating me as if I was guilty without even hearing anything but an accusation or a claim. She used the words cops about ten times. I literally just got done fighting one accusation and had this happen again, so of course I was upset and irate. The kids have no accountability and when they don't get their way, they want to try and contact DHR or threaten suicide or something. During her interview she immediately accused me of the allegation even after she was told it came from an ex.

This allegation came from my husbands ex which is Marilee Daniel and her mother Grace McConnell. My husband's ex is court ordered to be supervised due to her drug abuse around the kids and has an upcoming court date where she could get them back but she is still using opioids as well as suboxone that she gets from Pharmacy shopping, so this was her way of trying to help herself I guess. She has overdosed numerous times while being supervised and there has never been an investigation done on her and court ordered therapists and GAL's have known and nothing was ever done.

Not only did the case worker not call or identify herself, she interviewed the kids outside in front of the neighbors. Not only was her behavior unprofessional, I was not interviewed at all by her when the allegations were about me. She finally came in about 20 minutes of being here and then when we had our other children show up and I was telling them to get out she continued to talk about it in front of the kids. When I kept telling kids to go (they are 17 and 18) she then again said I can prove my case here with how you talk to them and add to your last case. I then told her I am telling them to go and you are steadily talking about the case but not asked me one question. She then again said I can prove all right now and add to the case. This was sad in front of my children, my niece and stepchildren. I felt attacked, discriminated against, verbally assaulted by a state worker and immediately felt was taking advantage of a situation, myself and my feelings at her expense. She left no card, no phone number, no cell number or anything. She never asked to interview my daughter and when my stepdaughter went outside she refused to talk to her and came in because she herself said she knew her mom was going to do this. We are a week out from this and I have yet to be contacted about anything. My husband was contacted today by someone in St Clair and he was told an interview was needing to be set up and not here at our home because the other worker wrote about me or something to that extent. I feel I am being targeted for one but the manner in which this worker handled herself on a professional level especially to be at work and to have the job she has where I am sure she encounters numerous people who get upset when this happens, she had no regard at all, was extremely disappointing and I believe almost defamation of character due to she did in front of my neighbors who were in their yard. My contact information is Stephanie Daniel [protected].

November 2019 I recieved a call from a lady stating she worked for the pell city dhr and that she needed to come speak with me and brandon burns (my boyfriend at the time). I let her know that we were not home at the moment and she arrainged for us to meet at my home at 365 maddox rd pell city al the next morning after I took the children to school. After we hung I called kayle which is my daughters father by bloods other daughter, and asked her to go pick up my 2 oldest up from their friends because dhr called and I was worried and didnt know what was going on, which I had made plans for the 2 oldest to stay with their friend at the grandmas house and catch the bus at her house! The next morning I took the babys to school, thinking kayle took the older ones. As soon as I got back home the dhr case worker was pulling in behind me. We went in my home and started the questions of concern that was reported! She stated that I was on hard core drugs and that I would leave my children with mr burns weeks at a time and watch him jack off to my kids in the bath! My answers was no I havent did crack cocaine since oct 2018 the night before we left morgan county and moved to pell city because me and my daughter was beating by her father. And I dont allow a man to watch my kids change none the less in the shower im not a sick mother my kids safety is my biggest concern. So then "pell city case worker:" ask if we can take a drug test and we both agreed, she stated she had a lab corp lady that was around the corner. Moments later she arrives we take our urine test 1 at a time, she even watches me and as the lab lady states that we passed the "pell city case worker" goes on with saying she needs to do a safety plan with me and mr burns until the allagations come back true or not about him messing with my kids, as we are signing papers she ask where would we be staying. I replied to her letting her know that me and my children were leaving tomorrow any ways because I was going back to where I was from where my family was that no one new but me and the kids and I showed her all my items that was already packed, so then we sign the papers and we agreed that me and my children were going back to morgan county to my grandmas and as we got in our cars, I headed to get the 2 youngest first. As I pull in the 2 youngest school, my phone rings its the "pell city caseworker" she states that she needs me to come to the office that something has came up, I tell her im there picking up the 2 youngest and she states I need to come to the office first. I start crying and driving torge dhr! As I pull into the parking lot of pell city dhr I see this black 2 door vehivle that is owned by teejay wilson which stays in lincoln al, which is also the guy that helped me move me and my children down to pell city for a so called better life while he was married and we were having sexual intercourse all because we had a child together! Before I park and before I get out I began cussing out loud thinking to my self why is he here! As I get out and go in I start screaming at teejay asking him why is he there, his reply was why do you think im here they called me here, I scream back and tell him no that aint true that they didnt call him because he isnt on any ones paper work, by that time the caseworker walks out and directs me to go in the rook while im asking why is he here no one called him, the caseworker says that he called her! So as we are in the room me teejay and the case worker, she ask me to have a seat and she said that I had to let my kids go with teejay and I shouted asking why I was going to morgan county to my grandma like I said on the safety plan, the caseworker told me that since I was leaving my home I couldnt take the kids, so I said thats not right let me speak to your suoervisor. The lady comes out and says she is the supervisor and saying that I have no choice but to let my kids go with teejay! I said no if I cant take my kids my nanny can be here in 2 hours to get my kids. The supervisor states she gave me the only option which was let teejay take them and no one else or she would send them to foster care! Crying upset thinking what has hapened my life is falling down my kids are my everything, my motivation, my everday sunlight with out them im nothing, thrn wondering why want pell city dhr let my kids go with my grandma but you let a man that has put his hands on me when I was pregnet throwing me on the ground, me filing domestic violence charges on him. Sending teejay wilson to prison, changing to a holy rehab owner to trying to lie and get dhr in my life that has caused trauma mentally and emotionally and has messed my family all the way up to not pressing charges on a man that sexually abused my kids, ll because my kids told teejay wife that we were having sex after dhr got involved and they obvousely upset the wife and the kids let them know they wanted to go back home! Teejay calls one night and tells me hes takingmy kids back to dhr, and I put him on speaker as my fiance (kenny) listens I ask teejay to repeat hisself, after he repeats I hear my daughter in the back cussing hollering saying f* you, you aint my daddy, pren* jamar foster is my daddy, you aint never did nothing for me, so I said whats going on he says hes done and tired that he would be taken them and there stuff to dhr I talk to them girls and calm them down and tells them go to sleep ill see you in the morning, I call my nanny. The next morning ma nanny and my aunt picks me up and we go to pell city as we are on the way dhr calls, and we let them know we are on the way, so we get there and get kids and there stuff and my aunt andnanny stops by to get some paper work and then we head to morgan county. Teejay and I had court the next day so they called for an emergency hearing, and I hired a lawyer. We had court and the judge transfers the case to morgan county! We get notified by morgan county and the have me do color code, which I went ever time my color was called and passed, I even did where the lady comes to your home every week. And completed it all until the judge closed my case in morgan county giving my grandma costudy, which since I been really going through some things mentally and its also messed me up financially! For no reason. Dhr did not do there steps properly
1 whats the cause of taking my kids?
2 teejay couldnt have passed a bnack ground check and my grandma should have been able to come get them
3 messed my kids up mentally emotionallu
4 ruined our reputaion
5

I had someone call three different time January 2021 March 2021 and then April of 2021. I took drugs screens for all 3 passed them. My middle child who is 3 was diagnosed with cancer and all the sudden in June a woman comes out on a call that says there are concerns with me caring for him. She comes to my home and say to investigate the call. I met with her for about an hour then she left then I get a court order to go drug screen and I had an emergency with my son at children's and told the investigator who told me she would inform the judge of the emergency and take care of it for me and we would get the drug screen taking care of. The next morning they came and took my babies. Put them in foster care and would not and still after almost two month let them go with any family even though they all requested screenings to get them out. They found me indicated for inadequate supervision bc I allowed my two boys to be with their father unsupervised when we have nothing in writing say I have to plus I trust him and also I make sure he keeps them with his family members. But yet I'm unfit bc I let them be with him but dhr is letting him stay with my son at the hospital unsupervised and no screenings even though they saw the report where he was kicked out the hospital for being highly intoxicated and he passed out so they made him leave. The care hearing was done the following Monday after they got taken from me and the judge said for us to do screens for a month and we could get the kids back but it's been over a month now and he has still yet to write the court order! So she said they can't make kyle drug screen and I asked how they could me and they wouldn't answer. J feel like j shouldn't have to do it if there is no court order even yet. Also he had to time to sign a court order rescheduling the court date due to court necessity to august 17th. I passed all the screens they ask me to take with out putting it off except when my child was sick and j knew j was not doing anything! Now they are and have let people file for emergency custody but not me and they won't give them back and just let me be supervised. They are acting like im horrible. I took a nerve pill the day they were taken bc I died on the inside honestly and I was scared to fail the drug screen they asked us to do the day of the care hearing so I tried to use fake pee but failed that attempt and got an UTP BUT now they are saying I'm indicated of the in adequate supervision bc due to spur-attic behavior and my ONE attempted I'm on drugs and have to do drug classes and assessments and screen each time I see my son who is doing chemo in the hospital yet my boys father doesn't have too. I don't understand. I want me kids please. I need them back! Foster care is hurting them. It's killing me im a good mama! They just want to be big boys and not care what I say. How this investigator can meet me one time can say this and make it were I can't have my kids is beyond me and not right. Please help! They never gave me a paper of why they took them. Dhr has tried to make me sign an ISP that goes all the way to December not what the judge said. Then the only court order I have gotten is the motion of one filled and I don't even know if it's actually court ordered that I can't see them. I need help please.

I have an open dhr case against me and jessica hindman is my case worker. I have been trying to text her and get in touch with her and have gotten little to no response. I understand she may be busy with other cases but I also have followed everything I've been told to do. I've even went far enough to give her my schedule so she knows my availability. I asked if there was any way we could schedule visitation if their father wasnt letting me visit and she hasn't responded to that either. My lawyer advised that we need a copy of the safety plan and I've called the office twice with absolutely no response. I feel like this is unprofessional and needs to be brought to management's attention. I will be calling again until I get at least a response and some more information on my case. If the case is open about me it would only make sense that I am kept updated on what is going on. I also have been told by my daughter that she has went to visit jessica a few times since they've been with their father. I'm just a concerned mother trying my best for my babies. I would greatly appreciate ANY feedback that is allowed.

To whom it may concern,

I would like to make a complaint about Teresa Henderson. She is using her power as a DHR agent in the wrong way. She talks down and belittles people. I would like this to be known just how she is treating the people at the centers is working. She needs to be told that she is not allowed to talk to people in the manner that is has been doing. Just because is in a position of power does not mean that she can be rude to the people she is working with. I have heard this from multiple people of how is acts. I would like for her to get some more training on how to do her job in the right way. She also needs some more training on just how you are allowed to talk to people. I understand that she thinks that she is doing her job, but she is not doing it in the right way being rude and belittling the people around her. I just want this to be known by DHR and for it to be fixed.

Thank you very much.

I was never arrested
Never failed drug screening
Safe home
Heat
Air
Water
Income
Lights
Most importantly love and love for god
Dhr is now bringing up my past and ordering different kinds of drug test... My children are hurting because of this, I am devastated and falling to pieces in my heart please help me I have copies of drug screenings please help me I am begging you this is hurting my babies they scream every night for their home with their mommy

I thought a complaint on november 28 and nothing was done then I called again on december 14 in a worker went out to the house and left a card on december 15 and then told them who filed the complaint and my old case worker closed the case it was never investigated properly oh yeah and the day dhr came out the guy I accused mysteriously was found unconscious I think he tried to commit suicide

I would like to file a complaint against The Dept of Human Resources family division. This is a broken system, which acts unjustly violating the civil rights deceptive fraud, and malicious defamation. Separating families and condoning false allegations.

This case began 2/15/2019- present
Ongoing today
Therefore, I would like to file report for:
1.) Civil Rights violations, discrimination, stereotyping
2.) Defamation in the ability to cause harm in a malicious manner both written and verbally.
3.) Fraudulent claims and improper procedures.

Because I am a person with learning disabilities, I have experienced extreme grief, separation of family, loss of thousands of dollars. The DEPT's intial investigator did not follow protocol basing information on "hearsay" for the case, while abusing and violated the Americans with Disabilities act. Inciting fear, lying, and making false statements in a malicious manner that have caused irreparable harm and damages. While also endangering our children. Placing our children the care of drug addicts custody. Which have caused our kids to have mental instability and brain washing.
I want this case to be investigated immediately and be treated with respect. Return my children now! Also, I want all property returned that is being kept wrongfully. I want any and all sensitive documents be returned, Income tax returns, fed stimulus and I want to FULLY reimbursed for all damages, mental anguish and attorneys fees.
Plus, the overhaul or rebuilding of this horrible broken department.

Any further info needed contact me: [protected]@msn.com

Hirschfield
Alabama, birmingham Jefferson county

writing this letter because I feel like I have not been receiving full and fair treatment I have been trying to collect a rear for back child support for years of my son Kendrick Ellison from Sydney mcary every time I called in the past I was always told that he was trying to locate them and then lately when I've called I've been told that all the money was going to his other case finally I went to court March 2020 and he was ordered to pay $100 a month and 700 before the next review in August at court the judge was told that Sydney paid over on his other case and under on mine it was then continue to December 11 we went back to court and before court started I'm caught up and tell that Sydney only owed me $17 and then my court date was going to be continue to March 2021 I asked how was that that that was not accurate and the DA then went to Sean nicks and told him what I said Sean told her not to worry about it that Sydney had another case anyway the judge made his order and set another court date when me and his other kids mom was going to get our court paper for the next court date we were stopped and told for us that we cannot get it and for us not to come to the next court date why can I not come to the next court date it clearly states I have the right to repeat dissipate in any court activity involving in my case if Sydney only owes me $17 how come I never received all the payments the only payments I have sought on the website and on my car statement is from my other kids father for the past years I have only received a few payments from Sydney Makari over the past years I really would appreciate a response in this matter

Can you please advise me, how DHR is allowed to take my child due to allegations which are un true and can not be proven of drug use in my home and domestic violence. My husband or I have never used nor been reported to use drugs with the authorities, or DHR, prior to the alleged report she received Thursday. In addition, my husband and I have never had any report or charges filed against either of us in the entire 7 years of marriage for domestic violence. I've never had so much as a misdemeanor report on my record much less a charge. Yet, A lady who called and text me claiming her name was Nichole but never showed me any Identification, comes to my home yesterday, and after only 45 minutes of being here 20 of which she interviewed my 9 year old special needs child without allowing us to be in the room. She also knew that my child being mentally ill, she could not understand things that were being asked. She placed my child into my mother's home under a safety plan which I only agreed to due to being told if I didn't my child would go to foster care. She had no court order, no proof no police report nothing like that. She then told us we have to take a drug test Monday when we have no gas and no money until the 3rd, or my child would be taken and I'd never regain custody. I've never did drugs nor been court ordered to take a drug test. How can DHR if that's really who she was do this with no proof no grounds. She told me she had no reports of child abuse, neglect or endangerment, the only report was of alleged drug use, that we My husband and I were taking my Childs adhd medication, and that their was domestic violence which there has never been a report of. She then told me that my child I have custody of could not be seen by me without supervision, and took my child out of a safe home and placed her in an unsafe home. How can this happen, what are my rights? P.S. I have all the proof that we don't use drugs, and theirs no domestic violence. Respectfully Kayla Combs----

Also my son was staying with my mom to finish his last year of school prior to going to high school. However my mom had no custody or anything his name was not on the form when I signed but was conveniently added after worker arrived at my moms. That's fraud I only signed about my daughter and that was only cause I felt forced to sign. I'd like to see this worker fired and possibly jailed or fined for adding my kids name afterward and if my case isn't dropped immediately I'd like to sue the department of Human ResourceS

Margaret Myers [protected] RE: James Myers as custodial parent
Upon review of my well documented file, it may be noted that my last correspondence with the dhr and specifically, Ms. Parks advised me to contact the estate of my dead ex husband. Upon contacting the estate of James Myers' representative, Lee Ann Myers-Nelson, she informed my that she returned the first two checks that came to her after my exhusbands death. She explained that the recipient was dead. This would have been January 2020. Subsequently $8, 000 was sent to Myers-Nelson and again she contacted the agency and was told to "Keep the money. It is for back child support." Examination of the timeline shows that DHR knew of my exhusbands death six months before I contacted them about taking my money and DHR still attached money coming to me. This happened as late as May 2020 with my $1200 stimulus check. I am filing this complaint in advance to a law suit for discrimination, malicious intent and theft.

Have never answered my calls about my food stamps being cut off when i'm expecting my baby any day now and could use the financial help then I go up there to turn in my paperwork no one there even says hello back or a warm smile back at you in fact when I walked up she screamed at me to get back behind the blue line (there is glass between us) and ask what did I want? I tried to explain the problem and I was there with some paperwork they needed she told me to drop it in the cardboard box outside (this has my social on it my address my doctors info my family's info) when I asked for a staple or envelope she told me just to drop all the loose papers in the box outside kept cutting me off... Then when I asked when I will hear back from someone she ignored me and continued a conversation with another co worker.. People are in need of real help and may not mean much to you dhr workers because you have food and shelter and clean water everyday at your disposable but some of us rely on this and the fact you treat us as if we're beneath you is disgusting I have a medical degree and still need help due to lack of work because of being pregnant and covid 19 so please if you hate people that much perhaps consider changing careers because dhr is supposed to help people not put them down..

The case worker for DHR Jordan Penny has lied multiple times and done illegal acts in my grandchildrens case. The case worker has acted unprofessionally and refuses to contact my son about anything in this case. She filed a Pettition to Remove my sons Parental Rights and states that she has exhausted every means for suitable family placement. The case worker never followed up on any family members for placement and refused to listen to the multiple suitable family member who came fourth and tried to get the children placed with them. She has violated my sons civil rights and also done multiple illegal acts in this case. We are in the process of hiring another attorney to represent my son Nelson Blaine Buldier in the upcoming court date set for Sept. 10th. We have documentation to prove her wrong doings and she never tried to contact ANY family members for placement. Furthermore she will not return any phone calls and I personally drove to the office and left messages with her suppervisor Amanda Martin for her and she still hasn't responded to any of my sons efforts to contact her. This is wrong and I am filing complaints to every agency and courts to resolve this matter. My son's phone number is [protected] and my number Lisa Buldier [protected] for contact in this matter.

Miss Susan from the Coffee County DHR office is beyound rude and disrespectful. Didnt give me anytime to ask the questions I needed to ask, no hello how are you how can I assist you, just straight rude, disrespectful and to the point. If I ever have any other questions concerning childsupport, never will i speak to her or any staff members that work there. Everyone of them, including the receptionist is rude!