TopResume review: fraudulent advertising 4

Hello: I just discovered a $39.95 unauthorized fee following Katie (now "Warren")'s "review". As a litigation attorney, I thought it may help you to read my response and that it may amuse you to read my review of Katie's review.

PLEASE FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE AND TAKE ACTION. These people aren't just thieves, they're human DNA of such toxic quality intelligence genes that it's kind of scary. (I edited my response and made it a generic response from South Park's Eric Cartman, who grew up and is job hunting with an MBA.

RESPONSE AND CRITIQUE TO HER REVIEW:
Hi Katie: I am writing to thank you for your critique of my resume and to demand an immediate refund, in full, of the unexpected fee of $39.95 against my checking account from TopResume ("Company).
First, please know that, even if a fee notice were somehow provided to me, that the company's notice is incontrovertibly deliberate in its attempt to mislead the customer into trusting that the company legitimately offered a "free" critique as the company advertised before and throughout my signup process.
As you should know, State-level law and case precedence are irrelevant concerning the Court's view that unintentional false advertising is grounds for liability for interstate fraud and that deliberate deceptions is grounds for interstate fraud, deceptive advertising, and theft by trick.
The Company should be aware that I have already briefed and transmitted documentation of this incident to my former supervising attorney and that we are prepared to submit a pleading charging you with the above-identified charges, in addition to saturating your clients and the Internet with a summary of your deception for financial gain, as well as a report and complaint to the Attorney General's office as a proactive measure in case a civil charge against you fails.
Please advise the Company to contact me directly at XXX no later than 12:00 p.m. (X), January (X), 201(X). As a preliminary matter, please rest assured that a simple refund will not suffice in this case.
I have copied my attorney on this email and we anticipate hearing from the Company tomorrow morning in order to attempt to informally resolve this matter. Finally, I have notified the Office of the Attorney General for the State of Maryland and notified the Deputy Prosecutor's division of my suspended complaint, which will only be withdrawn subsequent to execution of an acceptable and fair settlement.

Sincerely,

Eric Cartman
Eric Cartman, Attorney Pro Se
American Bar Association Member #[protected]
______________________________________________________________________________
Hi Cartman:
This free resume evaluation
STOP RIGHT THERE. YOU JUST CHARGED ME $39.85 TO READ WHAT LIES UNDERNEATH.

(this evaluation) is intended to give you an honest, straightforward assessment with some suggestions to help in your job search. I personally review hundreds of resumes each month so I'm able to provide insight into how you compare to other job seekers.
NO, YOU DON’T. YOU JUST SEND OUT GENERIC ADVICE EMAIILS AND BILL ALL THOSE UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE WHO NOW HAVE NO MONEY ALONG WITH NO INCOME.

Visual Presentation and Organization
We’ve all been told that looks don’t matter as much as substance, but in the case of your resume this just isn’t true.
SO THE FONT I USED IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FACT THAT I HAVE AN MBA…

I found your design to be visually uneven. The appearance is not polished, and it doesn’t say "high potential" as your experience suggests.
I HAVE BEEN POLISHING IT FOR OVER A YEAR AND THE FIRST THING IT SAYS IS THAT I HAVE PROVEN A HIGH POTENTIAL BY GENERATING 21% TO A SMALL COMPANY’S ANNUAL REVENUE.

Remember that your resume is your marketing tool.
YOU DON’T SAY! I THOUGHT IT WAS MY SUIT, MY COLOGNE, AND MY LOOKS. AND THE RENTED PORSCHE I DROVE UP IN.

It’s the first impression a potential employer has of you.
I THOUGHT THEY USED A CRYSTAL BALL AND THAT CREEPY CHICK WITH AN UNFORGETTABLE RACK FROM PARANORMAL ACTIVITY TO CHECK ME OUT WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!

You should consider using bullet points to increase the impact to the employer.
THAT’S WHY I USED BULLET POINTS!

If they see too many long sections of text, they might find it difficult to zero in on the most important information. Size and type of bullets are also a consideration. Although seemingly minor, visual impact of a resume is the key to ensuring that an employer reads it thoroughly.
I THINK MY TEACHER TAUGHT ME THAT IN 5TH GRADE WHEN WE DID A RESUME AND JOB APPLICATION ASSIGNMENT FOR A VERY CHARITABLE FIRM WHO AGREED TO PLAY ALONG. I ASSUMED IT WAS STANDARD CURRICULUM BACK THEN AND IT COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE THE CASE THAT IT’S STILL BEING TAUGHT.

Resume Writing
Your resume doesn't include a summary section
IT CONTAINS A 45-WORD INTRODUCTION OF MY CAREER HISTORY AND ACHIEVEMENTS ALONG WITH MY HIGHEST DEGREE. AS FOR A SUMMARY SECTION, EVERYONE BESIDES KATIE KNOWS THAT REPETITION ON A RESUME IS THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO. PLUS, MY RESUME INCLUDES A PROFILE STATEMENT RIGHT BENEATH MY NAME.

The key component to compel the hiring manager to keep reading. The career summary content should provide hiring managers with a brief, yet detailed synopsis of what you bring to the table.
THE KEY COMPONENT WAS TO GET THEM TO FORGET ABOUT THE TRASH CAN AND JUST WALK IT OVER TO THE SHREDDER. PLUS, IT CONTAINS A BRIEF AND DETAILED SYNOPSIS AND

The purpose of this section is to define you as a professional and cover those areas most relevant to your career level and job target.
OH. I THOUGHT IT WAS TO ENSURE THAT I REMAIN UNEMPLOYED.

It may not seem obvious, but a regular review of every word and sentence in your resume is a good idea.
SO I WAS RIGHT TO USE SPELL CHECK. HAD YOU NOT TOLD ME THAT, I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED THAT ASKING SOMEONE TO REVIEW IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.

Hiring managers are looking for an excuse to eliminate you as a candidate. You may not be able to see awkward phrases and grammatical errors if you've already spent a lot of time with your own resume.
AND YOU OBVIOUSLY CANNOT READ THE WORD “GARBAGE” THAT YOUR AUDIENCE SEES RIGHT ON TOP OF YOUR TEXT.

Unfortunately, Katie made the mistake of attempting to "review" a plaintiff attorney's resume and send him (me) a worthless, generic reply before illegally billing me $39.95 without my consent, approval, or knowledge.

It is my hope that you will use the following refund demand letter to ensure your reimbursement for TopResume's charge; incidentally, this charge could amount to a lot of different violations, including the possibility of fraudulent inducement and theft by deception. BTW, I am not Eric Cartman, I just adopted his otherwise likely strategy :)

PLEASE take action. I hope this helps:

Hi Katie: I am writing to thank you for your critique of my resume and to demand an immediate refund, in full, of the unexpected fee of $39.95 against my checking account from TopResume ("Company).

First, please know that, even if a fee notice were somehow provided to me, that the company's notice is incontrovertibly deliberate in its attempt to mislead the customer into trusting that the company legitimately offered a "free" critique as the company advertised before and throughout my signup process.

As you should know, State-level law and case precedence are irrelevant concerning the Court's view that unintentional false advertising is grounds for liability for interstate fraud and that deliberate deceptions is grounds for interstate fraud, deceptive advertising, and theft by trick.
The Company should be aware that I have already briefed and transmitted documentation of this incident to my former supervising attorney and that we are prepared to submit a pleading charging you with the above-identified charges, in addition to saturating your clients and the Internet with a summary of your deception for financial gain, as well as a report and complaint to the Attorney General's office as a proactive measure in case a civil charge against you fails.

Please advise the Company to contact me directly at XXX no later than 12:00 p.m. (X), January (X), 201(X). As a preliminary matter, please rest assured that a simple refund will not suffice in this case.

I have copied my attorney on this email and we anticipate hearing from the Company tomorrow morning in order to attempt to informally resolve this matter. Finally, I have notified the Office of the Attorney General for the State of Maryland and notified the Deputy Prosecutor's division of my suspended complaint, which will only be withdrawn subsequent to execution of an acceptable and fair settlement.

Sincerely,

Eric Cartman
Eric Cartman, Attorney Pro Se
South Park, CO
American Bar Association Member #[protected]

Hi there, We are sorry that you are unhappy with our service and your rewritten resume. We'd like to get this sorted out. If you could send us your contact information in a direct message on Facebook, call us on our toll free line at [protected], or send us an email to support@topresume.com, we'll get this matter taken care of right away.

I am not even sure these are the right names. Katie, Megan it Isaac A.
For my experience I wouldn't be surprised it is a scam and we have been conned by these people.